Wings Learning Center: Preparing Yourself



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Preparing Yourself

Few parents forget the day they receive the news of their child’s diagnosis. It seems counter-intuitive to think about yourself, when at that moment, your child’s future passes through your mind in countless unfavorable scenes.

When you are given emergency instructions on an airplane you are instructed to first place the oxygen mask on yourself and then place it on your child. At no time is this more true than when you first realize that you and your child have been given a challenge of living with autism. Place the emergency mask over your face and take a deep breath, for your child’s sake.

This breath of oxygen should contain the following thoughts:

Let yourself grieve.

You have just been told the child you thought was to be yours is no longer yours. You have lost an image of an ideal child. It is a normal feeling. Express your thoughts, feeling, fears or doubts to a friend, stranger or a group of parents who have been in similar position.

Gather support.

As the news of your child’s diagnosis spreads to your friends and family you will find yourself with more support than you can imagine. People will want to help you and ask what they can do. You will not know what help you need right away but take note of those who offer their help. Don’t try to go through this alone.

Talk to your partner.

The success of your child’s future will depend on his parents. The experience you are about to enter will either bring you and your spouse closer together or drive you apart. Talk about the challenge ahead of you. Seek outside help if you need a third party, but do not pretend it’s going to be life as usual. It is not.

Take care of yourself.

Remember to breathe. You will be driven by your child’s needs. Do not neglect your own. The best parent for your child is one who is physically, mentally and spiritually fit for the challenge ahead.

Talk to the experts.

Your best resource will be other parents with children with autism. Look for these resources first, read books about success stories and join parent’s groups. Try to keep a positive view of your child’s future. There are many success stories and resources available to you. Some of these sources are: The Options Institute www.options.org, Parents Helping Parents www.php.com